Coaching Tips 2: Focusing On What Works

These are the lessons I am learning

Coaching Tips 2: Have you ever failed in such a way that it feels like nothing will ever be the same again? That you can't come back from it?

Life is life, however - and we receive everything we can handle. I just don't always know that in the moment. But afterward I can see it. Our situations help to take us to the next level, next place, next space. And all in accordance with what our deepest, deepest heart felt desire is. But who cares when one is in the 'doghouse'?

I start to use words like NEVER, ALWAYS, CAN'T, FOREVER... if it wasn't so painful I would laugh. Well, actually sometimes in the middle of GRAND crying bouts I do. It helps.

This is when I know I am in what Ben Zandler calls a 'downward spiral conversation.'

I don't try to fix it when I am near the bottom. Frankly, at that point I have neither the energy nor the inclination. What I do look for, are the things that are working, the things I can take charge of, the things I still enjoy and feel confidant about. Tiny things that energize me, feed me - and the REST - I let go. I cry, I sleep, I drink too much coffee. I let go.

Sure enough, time passes. And so does the sense of failure. By focusing on what is working, and what makes me feel good, I interrupt my down hill mind talk. It builds me when I feel broken. And let go of fixing the rest - until I am strong again.

Up down, the wheel of life. Give neither too much attention. What you can be sure of, is that wherever you are, it will change.