Do you have a commitment phobia?

Bonnke Shipalana writes how he believes you can break through any commitment phobia you may have. It may be a fear of relationships, a project or to developing yourself. And the key? Trust.

What's After Love?

How do you connect or commit yourselves to the next person? Without thinking twice I am sure that most will confidently say LOVE, and I will fully agree with you.

My experience has taught me that for love to operate you need a harmonies and two way environment, then how do you connect or commit when the environment is not conducive or is a one way street?

Do you have a fear of commitment in general?

• How do you commit to your work when you can clearly see that your boss just does not like you?
• How do you connect with a partner who is not prepared to take your relationship to the next level?
• How do you commit to getting out of debt when your expenses keep on nailing you like a strong continuous sea wave?
• How do you connect with a father/mother who left you when you were a baby, and returns asking for your forgiveness?
• How do you connect to your vision when you life has been blinded by bad experiences one after another?
• The big question is, how do you connect if there is no love?

Trust is the way to release any commitment phobia you may have...

Today I would like us to look at how you can exercise trust when you have hit rock bottom.

We are going to learn more on how trust can rejuvenate love. If your love for something is dead, but your passion is still strong, only trust can impregnate your love to produce your desired results.

To trust simply means to place a firm reliance on the integrity, ability or character of a person or thing.

Most people have what I have termed “general trust”. They will only trust a person or thing, if the majority of people around them also trust that person or thing. If everyone trusts the ability of SAA to safely fly from Johannesburg to Cape Town, they will automatically trust SAA.

The only downside to such behavior is that you end up replacing trust with reliance…reliance on the thoughts of those who are louder and more influential.

For trust to work in your life, the base of your decision to trust should be stimulated from within you, and no one else.

There are two elements that are crucial when practicing trust. One element is there to initiate trust and the other is there to maintain trust. If you put into practice the two elements, you will see the environment at work change, relationships moving forward, ability to forgive and re-connect to your vision.

Commitment phobia is nothing more than extreme FEAR..

Element number one is FEAR. FEAR has the ability to scare the weak and give courage to the strong. I am sure that when Tata Mandela was sentenced to life in Robben Island, fear cropped down his spine like water soaking into an expensive imported rug.

Tata Mandela could not connect with his vision of a free South Africa, thus could not exercise love. FEAR will make you feel so weak that what you could do with your eyes closed now seems as big as Table Mountain.

The only way to beat the hell out of fear until it calls out it's mama, is by trusting in your end results.

Trust will reignite sparks that have power to turn into an inferno. By trusting (without full knowledge), Tata Mandela was able to reignite his vision for a free South Africa, a spark that turned into an inferno (MK, Sanctions, etc.)

FEAR will continuously discourage you by asking you one question, how do you know? What is the base or source of your trust? And that is when you pull out your second element, which is PRAISE.

The minute most people hear of the word praise, they immediately associate it with offering grateful homage to a God or Kings. This narrow definition limits peoples understanding of the power of praise, as praise is only used as a reaction to a successful action. Please understand that praise has the power to change what is, into what is wished for...

... The only way you can maintain your trust in the midst a 1000 arrow-like questions from FEAR, is by praising your dream.

If your vision is to be an entrepreneur, read more books on entrepreneurship, surrounds yourself with entrepreneurs, etc. Stop wishing for positive actions and act on what you wish for.




Conclusion on moving past your commitment phobia

My father once told me a story of two farmers who prayed for rain during a dry seasonal period.

After praying, one farmer waited for the rain while the other went and prepared his field for the rain. The day the heavens opened up, only the second farmer enjoyed the benefits of his prayers.

What type of a farmer are you?

When faced with a loveless environment how do you operate?

Do you cry out your desires and just wait like the first farmer?

Or do you cry out your desire, trust in the midst of fear and act on what you wish, like the second farmer?

Unfortunately life will not always be a bed of red summer roses and love will not always be lying next to you. Do not despair, trust has the ability to impregnate or plant seeds in your dead love. Trust…Trust…Trust…and act on your wish, and you will see the Lord take your ordinary and transform it into the extraordinary.

Amen

Bonnke Shipalana

Copyright 2007 Bonnke Shipalana