New emotion is possible at anytime. Put in the time and effort to feel great...and you will.
Building new emotion, is a key to high performance, healing & growth.
Go to Motivation and Emotion
Rebecca Fine from 'The Science of Getting Rich'
told me once, that I didn't need to shift my emotions from hopelessness to joy in one go. If I could just shift the despair to anger...it would be a step up.
Rules to building new emotion:
Rule Number One: Patience.
Rule Number Two: One small step at a time.
Rule Number Three: Persevere.
Best of the best: Expand your spirit.
Emotions are like the waves on the ocean. They are subject to the winds and other external elements. The currents, however, are the most powerful force. Currents are not dictated to by the weather. They have a life of their own.
You too, have something much bigger than the waves of your ocean. If you focus only on managing the waves, you are fighting a losing battle. Building a new emotional state alone, will not last.
Instead, strengthen the resources of your currents. Your life force. If you expand this, healthy new emotion will follow.
Starting a daily spiritual practice, which included meditation, is the single most powerful choice I ever made. If I gave up every other method, it wouldn't matter. Because when I meditate, I am plugged in to the highest source there is.
Meditation is bigger than my personality flaws, behavioral issues and bad habits. The practice helped me gradually shed the dark and the heaviness .... and allowed me to find my own light.
When I am consistent the waves are inconsequential. And my ability to build a new emotion is much stronger.
Tip: Whatever your spiritual beliefs, take steps to spend time with God or your version of a Higher Power every day. Start with 5 minutes. And increase it over time.
Clean It Up
Everything you put in your system contributes to how you feel. I don't know who said it first...but in my experience - 'You are what you eat.'
i. Caffeine increases feelings of anxiety and fear.
ii. Meat increases irritation, aggravation and anger levels.
iii. Sugar contributes to sluggishness.
iv. Alcohol contributes to moodiness and depression.
Don't hang on to the things that rob you of feeling great. Do you want the drink or do you want a new emotion that makes you feel great?
Tip: Choose one thing that you can eliminate from your diet for 3 months.
Complete your past. Take responsibility for the state of your relationships. Start telling the truth to yourself and to others. Make amends where necessary. You can not build new emotion out of old wounds.
Declutter your home and car. Make your surroundings beautiful.
Tip: A friend of mine, Dan, from Hawaii, suggested a great technique. Start with the room you spend the most time in.
“Re-arrange your place, everything that's inside put outside, everything on top put on the bottom chairs on table etc, move it up a little. I know it seems ridiculous but it serves three purposes...physically you will build up some heat and movement and help break up blockage, mentally it is overwhelming to see all the "stuff" laying around everywhere and hopefully the mind will dis-engage it's track it's stuck on....and thirdly everything hidden and buried will be surfaced and allowed a chance to be exposed, analyzed, sorted,disposed of, and hopefully healed. Depending on how big your place is it may take a while, but I usually start where ever I seem to be "stuck" the most..i.e. TV room, bedroom, etc..."
TIP: This is a quick route to creating a new emotion that shifts how you feel today. I suggest you start with an easy room.
I started Karate at 27 years old. In 4 weeks I was a different person. I even stopped smoking as a result. For the first time my body and I started to belong to each other. I lost weight and got fit. I felt great. It was a great step to building new emotion. My internal reserves were replenished because karate includes the strengthening of mind and spirit.
It gave me a confidence I'd never had. Although I didn't make it to black belt, after 18 months of training, I won 1st place for free 'shiwaza' and 'kata'. I didn't want to enter the tournament. My master Shihan Solly Said ignored my protests. He knew it was important for my growth. Not from a competitive perspective. He could see I needed to get out of my comfort zone and take a risk.
Yoga, walking and dance are also great exercises that helped me at different points a long the way. Exercise increases the happy chemicals. It also releases excess energy from anxiety or anger. This makes way for any new emotion to seed.
1. If you don't already walk, start walking just 5 minutes every day.
2. Choose another activity, like yoga or dance, that involves not only physical growth but strengthens your mind and spirit too.
Start something creative.
One year, after a business failure, I hit an all time low. I sat square in front of the TV for two months. Delia Meyer, a creative and performance coach, spent two weeks with me using writing, acting, dance and imagination techniques to help me express myself. My pain, my light, my madness and my beauty. Through this I found myself again. This was the last time I had depression. I had permanently seeded new emotion into my being.
Tip: It doesn't matter if you can't draw. Get finger paints and paint what you're feeling. Paint what you want. When you're alone put on some music and dance to it. I can't sing. But she got me to sing as if I were Barry White in a concert hall.
Model some of the people who inspire you. Act out extracts of scenes from movies that you aspire to become.
Express your emotions in a healthy way.
John Gray, author of 'Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars' suggests a 'feeling letter' to help you express your feelings.
You don't need to give this letter to anyone.
This clears away the old...and makes way for the new emotion you invite into your life.
Many courses use physical techniques to interrupt the energy pattern your mind is stuck in. It also helps to release the pent up energy of stored emotions. An example is to stand and shout - physically put your entire body into the emotion.
Life Coach, Debbie Ford, in her anger exercises, gets people to shout and move with their eyes closed 'I'm not gonna take it any more' over and over again.
Dance can also do this. Biodanza, which I haven't done, according to friends, does this really well. But any dance will do the trick.
Communicate with the people with whom you have unfinished business. Use the I statement. It may help to attend a listening and assertiveness skills course.
4. Also draw, sing, talk to someone and get help from a professional.
1. Thinking and perceptions
Your emotions are a sign post to what you're thinking. Painful feelings are a sign that you're thinking about something in a harmful way. It might be about another person, a situation or yourself. Change what you're thinking and you'll change how you feel inside. Change your beliefs and your whole world will change.
The Science Of Success Program is a great course that helps build new belief systems.
Be clear on your purpose. A purposeful vision will prevent negative emotions from making a permanent home.
3. Visualization and Imagination
Techniques that take you into a relaxed state or remind you of where you are going, and what inspires you can immediately shift what you're feeling. This creates new emotion that you can use as a stepping stone for some of the other activities.
The Science of Getting Rich Practical Genius Course
offers excellent online or self help programs to teach these tools.
Attend inspiring talks, build relationships with people who encourage and inspire you.
Practice gratitude. Journal the things you have to be grateful for on a daily level. This technique builds new emotion that will last.
Conclusion on building new emotion
Remember, you do not need to climb the mountain in one day. Choose which techniques you want to start with and build them into your daily life. Shift your emotions one notch at a time. If you don't, the costs may be high. Whether you are out of control or suppressing what you feel,
the stress can affect your health.
Kalavati teaches all the above tools in our workshops and coaching processes. For more information,
WORDS OF CAUTION ON BUILDING NEW EMOTION
Though we can advise you, based on our personal experiences and the experiences of others, we are not medical experts. Nor have these articles been checked by a medical expert. We can only point you in the right direction. We advise you to see your doctor if you are experiencing any of the symptoms or health effects described.
If you are depressed or in rage - visit a professional in your area. You will find the exercises and practical activities available here will support your doctor or psychologist's programs.
Go to Motivations and Emotion
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