You will resist change. Even change you want.
Your mind likes routine.
Once on the treadmill, your mind doesn't want to get off. Even if you know that something is not good for you.
So when change occurs - your mind perceives it as a threat. And unwelcome stress kicks in. You want to change but you keep finding yourself doing the same thing. Over and over and over and over again.
So what do you do about it?
Change your attitude. Change the way you think. Focus most of your energy on your internal thoughts during the change you're implementing. And your behaviors will follow. And understanding your emotions will significantly help you.
The sooner you learn how, the easier life feels because, the environment changes constantly. And if you don't change you don't grow. Everything in this world grows – or it dies. If you resist long enough – you start to die inside and possibly even outside.
At this time you have three choices:
- Become one of the obstacles and block progress,
- Go with the flow and become a contributor,
- Or get out the way.
When I worked for a growing company - it was expanding. And I, in my resistance was becoming one of the obstacles to growth...
...How do you know you are resisting change?
Some signs of resistance are:
An increase in bad habits like watching TV for too long or drinking alcohol,
Repeating the same conversations or story,
Use of generalized words like 'always', 'never',
Does this sound only too familiar? Then there's a good chance you're in 'resist change' mode.
I was complaining, blaming, gossiping and doing a whole lot of crying. Above all...I felt exhausted. I was experiencing symptoms of burn out. At the time, I believed the causes were external but it was my attitude and resistance to change that was affecting my health.
How do you let go of the resistance?
- Develop faith and trust in something bigger than yourself. If you trust everything has meaning, it becomes easier to go with the flow.
Tell yourself the truth about what you want. Look carefully at what you're doing – or not doing – that requires a shift and tell people around you the truth.
Allow yourself to feel all your emotions. The cycle of change includes uncomfortable emotions like anger, sadness, shock and fear.
Remember, a warrior is not someone who has no fear. A warrior is someone who feels the fear and moves forward despite the fear.
So become okay with what you're experiencing - without shifting away from it.
Take yoga meditation or relaxation classes to help your mind let go of the attachments to the old.
Ask yourself what you're afraid of losing, when you let change happen. There are payoffs to your habits. Even the habits that hurt you. An example might be the social bonding experienced from social drinking or sharing a joint. Is it the belonging and connection you believe you receive from the sharing ritual? The payoffs are beliefs that drive you to resist change.
Become aware of the gifts that changes can bring. Even traumatic change.
Take charge of your change by making conscious decisions. Making a decision will clear the confusion and release you from paralysis.
Stay aware. Notice yourself. Pay attention to what is happening around you, and more importantly inside you.
Once you've made a decision, create a vision of where you want to go, then put your action plan together.
If you need to change a habit, and you resist change - start with changing the way you think.
Take the 21/40 day challenge.
Jo Hazelhurst, Copyright 2007
Do you want to know how to move yourself through what you're feeling? Go to
building new emotion.
Return from Resist Change to Kalavati Homepage